I AM SINGLE

Oh, Valentine's Day. February 14 is a day that not a lot of single people like, and understandably so. Scroll through your Instagram feed and see pictures of flowers, surprises, candy, fun date nights, and whole paragraphs about how so and so is lucky to have so and so in their world. All the while the un-taken ones are gorging on candy and watching movies by themselves since everyone else is on a date. Valentine's Day can be one of the most depressing days for singles. Today, however, rocked for me - and yes, I'm single.

Single is such a depressing word. I hear single and I think "alone, lonely, unwanted" and all sorts of other negative thoughts. My hope is that by the end of this post, you think about the state of single-ness differently.

WAITING

Here's the thing- I would love to get married and have a family one day. A strong marriage and a healthy family is something that I ask God for and am greatly looking forward to. However, I'm not waiting for that to happen. When I hear the word "wait" I think of sitting in a doctor's office trying to pass the time before your appointment. I think of a person sitting in their car impatiently as the drive-through order is taking longer than expected (first world problems). I'm not waiting to get into a relationship that leads to marriage. I'm not sitting twiddling my thumbs as I look for the day Prince Charming walks through the doors then my life can begin. What an absolute waste of time. No, I'm not waiting. I'm living. I am on a beautiful journey where I can devote my entire life to pursuing the vision that God has given me. I can live completely devoted to Him without the responsibility of caring for a husband and children. I am in charge of my own finances, my own decision, my own time. These are all things that I will one day happily share, but right now I have freedom to do what I want with these things. Being single is not a burden, it's a freedom!

GIFT

I touched on this already, but this next thing about being single was a recent "I get it!" moment for me. Being single is actually a gift that I can give to others! In the New Testament, Paul talks about the fact that single people get to use their singleness as a gift to the church. This is something that I am blessed to live out very practically. I basically live at my local church. I get to be there almost every day! My calendar, school schedule, social life, finances, and decision making is all based on what's going on at church during the week. Being single gives me the opportunity to devote my time to helping God's House grow! Do you know what I spent my Valentine's Day doing? Mailing out invitation cards for a church event. And I was so glad to do it! I spent most of today make-up-less, in a t-shirt, and watching Pride and Prejudice while I stamped hundreds of postcards. No it wasn't glamorous, but it was needed, and I had the time and energy to do it. I am blessed to be so involved in God's House! Now you might be thinking, "Krista, I can't be at church all the time, how can I use my single-ness working at McDonalds?" Guess what, my friend? The CHURCH is not just the building, it is God's people! No matter who you are or what you do, you can always be a voice of encouragement, hope, strength, and joy to build people up around you. You are a vessel of God that can be used to spread His Word and see others come to Him. You can find a church where you can serve consistently. You can give your finances towards missions trips, outreaches, visions, events, etc. While single, you can give yourself fully to help the church grow in any way that you can. It's awesome and so fulfilling!

SINGLE

The word "single", as I said before, often has a lonely tone to it. When you look up the definition of single in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, these are the first definitions you see-

not married: of or relating to celibacy: unaccompanied by others:lone, sole

Wow, depressing. It can be hard to be single sometimes. All too often we find our value in having a "significant other". But keep reading, and check out what you find.

consisting of a separate unique whole : individual . Just as a person is part of a crowd, so are you a part of God. You may be single, but you are part of a "unique whole." You dwell within Him as a unique individual, completely different to everyone around you, yet completely a part of God.

unbroken : undivided. You are dedicated to God without any distractions. He has your undivided attention while He forms you for whatever your future holds. He is forming you to be a beautiful woman loves others with her whole heart and who gives herself completely to His calling. A husband may very well be in that future for you. If so, He is forming you for him, too.

designed for the use of one person only . You are designed to be used of God. This will never change about you. If we surrender our hearts to God, we are completely devoted to His will for our lives! You will always, in this regard, be a single girl.

having no equal or like : singular. There is NO ONE in the whole world like you, my friend! Stop comparing yourself to all the other girls who no longer claim the title of being single. She doesn't have your life. God has something else in store for her that is beautiful and right for her. God has something great for you because you have no equal or likeness. He has an amazing, fantastic, mind blowing, absolutely awesome plan for you that you can't comprehend!

My wonderful single ladies, I so hope that by now your eyes are starting to open to the beauty of single-ness. I'm sure marriage is awesome, but I've also been told time and time again that there are many wonderful things in this season of life that you will never get to have back once you are married. Obviously marriage must be amazing because it's what most girls want, but it's not everything. We need to come to the realization that if we never get married, Jesus is enough for us. Being the church is enough for us. Loving others is enough for us. I know that God can fulfill the desires of your heart, and of mine. But let's not waste time waiting. Let us open up our hearts to give ourselves to being single women who are passionate about loving others, being used by God, and changing our worlds!

Oceans

Thunderous winds roll the waves,

Shrieking their voices as the day

Turns into the darkest night.

The boat is caught in the foam

Of the sea as she roams,

Taking no heed to her guests.

Twelve men caught in the fury,

Seeing nothing but walls of murky

Water swell and ebb.

Their fear is felt in great force

As they, the great fisherman have lost their course,

In the ever changing maze.

In the fourth watch of night

Pulses quicken as their fright

Is heightened when they see

A man walking towards their boat.

Walking - on water! "It must be a ghost"

They screamed in terror.

"Take Courage. I AM. Don't be afraid"

It was their Captain who said

It was He on the water.

"If that's really you," Peter hesitated

"Then ask me out on the water." He waited

To see if His Captain would ask

For such courage. "Come."

His only word, just one

To call Peter out of his boat.

What faith had he, to leave

The safety and recklessly

Follow one command - "Come."

For He was I AM.

Jesus, His Captain,

Was the only reason Peter

Would step out onto the waves.

Peter obeyed.

But the raging sea tossed and turned,

And the sailor took his eyes

Off His Master and cried

Out for help as he

Perceived the wind and began to sink

Into the waves that seemed

Bigger than life itself.

He Perceived- "Identify by means of the senses".

His senses realized how senseless

Walking on the water was.

P eter Perceived.

He abandoned faith and believed

That belief was not enough.

Jesus reached out His hand

And at His command

The sea stood still.

"Oh you of little faith

Why did you doubt?"

Great Expectations

Right now we are in a series called "Great Expectations" at church. How timely a message it has been for me! Our church is believing for big things this year, and so am I. I feel like God stretches me to believe for bigger things every year, and He is working my spiritual muscles hard-core right now. I almost feel like I'm about to pull something. It got to me the other day, all this stretching. I was near my breaking point, almost about to give up. How thankful I am that I have such a strong church I receive encouragement from every week. I was sitting in church when Pastor John said these words -

"If God gives the Vision, He will give the Provision."

This resonated within me. I thought about all of the things that I am believing God for. Things that HE gave me vision for that I just can't see happening. This reminded me of the story when Jesus fed the 5000 people. Mark 6: 34-37a begins this way. "When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things. By this time it was late in the day, so his disciples came to him. 'This is a remote place,' they said, 'and it’s already very late. Send the people away so that they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.' But he answered, 'You give them something to eat.'"

You give them something to eat... The disciples saw the problem, and it was a big problem. They thought they had a solution, but Jesus messed up their earthly thinking with that phrase. He put a crazy thought in their heads. They feed them? Their reply in the rest of verse 37 shows how they felt about this idea-

"They said to him, 'That would take more than half a year’s wages! Are we to go and spend that much on bread and give it to them to eat?' "

That's not quite what Jesus had in mind. Verse 38

"'How many loaves do you have?' he asked. 'Go and see.'" First Jesus gave them a radical vision. You feed them. Then He gave them instructions that would give them a heart more like His. Go and see. Go and see the hungry crowds that I have compassion for, and go and see how much it is going to take to feed them. The disciples had to start figuring out what they could find to contribute to this crazy idea Jesus had. They came back with a disheartening report. "Five loaves and two fish." What could Jesus do with that? You'd be surprised. All Jesus wanted from His disciples was a seed. He wanted something that He could work with. Once He had that, He was able to multiply it and fulfill His vision. From five loaves and two fish, over 5000 people were fed.

If God gives the Vision, He will give the Provision.

God has given me a vision for my life. It's big, and will require a lot. And honestly, sometimes I think God is crazy to give me such big dreams. I can't see how it will work, but that's not my job. My job is to go and see. My job is to develop a heart that echo's God's compassion for people. My job is to bring what I have to God - all of my time, energy, finances, faith - and watch Him do the rest!

My New Season

I've put off writing this blog entry for a few reasons. Firstly, I had no idea if what I was about to share was even going to become a reality. Secondly, it's very unexpected for myself, so I know it is not expected for others (especially my beloved friends in Kenya)

Two years ago, I didn't really like kids. I didn't know what to do with them after saying hello and telling them how cute they were. We would just stare at each other awkwardly and then they'd run and play while I walked away wondering why little Bobby didn't like me (although I guess he would have a name like Otieno) :). It was frustrating, but I didn't really think much of it. The big move came. I got onto a plane that would carry me about 10,000 miles away from my home, my family, church, culture- everything! I moved in with my amazing sister, her wonderful husband, and the cutest three month old baby I had ever seen. Needless to say, I had to learn pretty fast how to change diapers and not shove too much food down her mouth. Once I knew what do with her, I absolutely fell in love with my Makena girl! However, ask me to come babysit somebody else's kid, and it was a different story...Until a little boy named Riah stole my heart! I remember the day I was watching him play outside while I was on my phone, hoping his parents would come home early. What am I supposed to talk to a three year old about? He pulled out his pirate toys and started to pretend he was on a ship. His imagination came alive, and I got pulled right into it. Soon, we were both playing around in water having the time of our lives. Maybe I could get along with him! But just him. Months later, I moved to Memphis, Tennessee and joined The Life Church as a full time intern. My first Sunday serving, I went up to a pastor and asked him where he would like me to serve. "Launch", was his answer. Are you kidding me? Our room for first through third grader services? Can't I just clean the bathrooms? It was my first big attitude adjustment. I breathed in, smiled, and said "Ok!." I stood at the doors of the room they met in, knowing I was about to drown in the pandemonium of little children everywhere. "I can do this." To make a long story short, I now coordinate services every weekend, write lessons, and help children become the amazing people God meant for them to be- and there is NO hesitation in my heart before walking into that Launch room. Over the course of this year, God has shown me the amazing gift it is to raise up the next generation. Though some of those kids may never remember my name when they get older, I know they will remember what I told them. I know that because I remember what I learned in third grade. I don't remember who taught me what lesson, but I had a strong foundation as a little child, simply because people were willing to give their time and energy to teach me about Jesus. Speaking of teaching.... In 9th grade, my History teacher, Mr. McBride, said to the class,

"Some of you have never thought about being teachers. You need to. Do you like to learn? Teachers always learn, every single day. I get to come into this building every day for nine months, and you HAVE to listen to me. I get to influence what you think about this subject, your classmates, your school, your life, and even God."

"That's cool", was all I thought in my head... but what he said never left my heart. Little did I know, that God would start to change my heart then and there for children, and He would continue it until this very day. During this year, I was seeking God about vision for my life. I kept asking myself the question, "What in the world am I here for?!" It was frustrating. I was waiting for that "clouds opening up in the sky" moment where God would reveal my whole future and destiny. It didn't happen. What did happen, however, is that I continued to stay submitted to my leaders. What they asked, I did my best to do... and they asked me to love the next generation. And I love it. In May, I realized that I wanted to go to college. But I couldn't think about what I would be passionate enough to study for four years. I know you're all thinking "Duh, Krista!" Well, I hadn't put all the pieces together yet. When I did, I had an overwhelming peace. I am meant to teach. At this point, I would love to get a degree in teaching, and use it in Memphis to teach kids who need to know they are special and valued, but also around the world as an ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher. It's an incredible "in" to the mission field. Who knows what God will use it for? I mean, my Sovereign, Good, Always-takes-care-of-me God might even turn everything around in two years. But one thing I do KNOW- I am going to school in just a few hours. It's been four long, long months of fighting to make it in. It's been the hardest thing I've ever worked for. And how much more I value it! I didn't expect this turn of events. This means I could possibly be in America for four more years or more. This is not a bad thing, because God has blessed me with an amazing church family and given me a heart for Memphis, but it is something I did not see coming. It is a sacrifice deciding to be away from home longer than I thought. I miss Kenya. I miss my family, and the culture that is so familiar to me. Still, after two years of Stateside living, I am still adjusting. With this next huge step, I will continue to adjust even more. BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL. I know He would not call me to it if I couldn't handle it. Friends and family here, thank you for your unwavering support during this season! I wouldn't have made it without you. Friends and family in Kenya, nimekumiss! I ask that you would continue to pray for me and keep in touch with me! I am always African.

My bag is packed. I am stepping into my new season, with the God of Angel Armies by my side!

What if We Were Real

Yesterday I went to the Memphis Music Festival downtown. Apparently it rains every Music Fest, thus the weekend is also dubbed "Mud Fest." I went tromping through the brown slosh in my boots, the smells of cigarette smoke, corn dogs, weed, alcohol, and BBQ all hitting my nose at the same time. People's love for food was apparent, as well as others love for drugs and drinking. I can honestly say that I've never seen such a variety of people in one place! The diversity of styles, personalities, and interests was pretty outstanding. From preps to hippies, everyone was there. I didn't know that some hair colors were possible until yesterday!

Making my way through the crowd towards the huge outside stage, I ate some kind of strange gyro that dripped its sauce all over my scarf, shirt, and jacket. As I waited for one of the most currently popular bands to come out on the stage, I heard loud and perverse conversation behind me, a group's love for Canada to my left, quiet conversation to my right, and a crowd of people in front of me all absorbed with the excitement of the moment. Thousands of people were gathering together to hear from their favorite band. I watched, so impressed by all the complete transparency of everyone around me. As the first member walked out on stage, a roar from the front of the crowd made its way back until everyone was cheering. The lights came on, and the band began to play. The music was incredible. I could feel the bass beating in my chest. The voices were perfect. The Crowd Went Wild.

As I tiptoed to peer over the heads of the crowd, I saw the band displaying a marvelous performance. The singer was mesmerizing, the guitar players were all over the place, the keyboard player completely absorbed, and the drummer made me think his head was about to fall off. They genuinely loved every single note they played. When my toes couldn't handle being the only support for my body anymore, I began to observe the crowd again. There were two guys in front of me jumping up and down in incredible excitement. They were obvious fans. Several people had one or both hands lifted up towards the stage. Many people around me were closing their eyes- some were high, others were simply enjoying the sound. Others showed passivity or dislike.

In that moment, amidst a crowd of people who were not afraid to show who they really were, I asked myself the question-

"What If we were Real?"

The band was incredible because they lived what they sang, and they genuinely loved what they did- they believed in their music. What if worship leaders did the same? The crowd was worshipping (I mean, the Bible says "Clap your hands and praise the Lord." And we lift our hands in worship. They were doing the same, praising the band for their music and exalting their talent. I would call that worshipping) the artists unashamedly. What if we did the same on Sunday morning at church? What if we felt the same way about Jesus while we sang? People were outspoken- throwing beer cans up and across the crowd, and speaking their minds about what they thought. No one was trying to hide their what we could call problems. What if we were like that? What if we took off the mask of perfection we like to put on and started to talk about our struggles? What if we stopped judging people and started to be honest that we are just like those we point fingers at?

In that moment I thought- What if this was the church? What if one day, this passion and unashamed craziness would be directed towards the most Creative Artist? Hope filled my heart as I looked around at my mission field. See the fields- they are ready to be harvested! We just need more laborers. We need more people willing to step outside of the church and start being the church. This world needs us to be real! Pop the bubble you are living in and listen to the harvest! They need people to identify with. I can tell you one thing- every Christian out there has struggled with something. Stealing, lying, pornography, fornication, insecurity, suicidal thoughts, adultery, fear, financial problems - all are things that someone in the world can relate to! I'm not ashamed to say that I am not perfect- AT ALL. But I am loved. I'm accepted. I can be myself, knowing that I am forgiven. I am living with a joy and life inside of me given from God that makes me complete and whole. So many others need to hear that they can be accepted and forgiven too. All have sinned and fallen short! I encourage you, go find someone who has or is walking through something that you can relate to- tear down those walls, and be real. That's what being the church is all about.

He Remains.

It's been eight months since my fingers hit the keys of the blogging world! So much has changed since July of last year- it's impossible to fully update. But this post finds me in a different city, different state, different season. I am now living in Memphis, Tennessee, and a full time intern at The Life Church of Memphis. It would be pretty hard to tell of all the amazing things that God has done for me over the last eight months! If you read my post "Remaining Joyful", I mentioned that I travelled here last spring with my Dad and sister for a weekend. Little did I know that one trip would change my life. When I went back to Tulsa, I kept feeling like I should move to Memphis and do the year-long internship. I prayed about it, and a couple of months later told my parents what was on my heart. To my surprise, they had been praying about the same thing and had also felt I should move to Memphis. What an encouragement! But a lot of things still had to fall into place. I didn't have a job, a car, a house, and not more than a few friends. It was definitely a leap of faith. It took a lot of courage. But the desire to be plugged into a church full time was stronger than any doubts I had. To make a long story short, a couple of phone calls and a few months later I was on my way to Memphis with a gorgeous house, a car, and all my needs met on the other side. God had not only provided for me, but exceeded every expectation I had. Since beginning Damascus Road in August, I have had to trust God more than I ever have before. I am going on a missions trip to Ireland this summer as part of my internship and need to raise $3500. I currently have $30 towards that, but I know that as I work hard, I will get there. Every month I carefully plan out my finances and see God provide for my needs as I faithfully manage what He has given me. He has kept me from sickness and accidents. He has given me strength when I had absolutely none left. When I put in 130 hours over the course of two weeks at church, He helps me manage my life! It's been a hard step, learning how to handle so much. I basically work a full time job, while still having to make time for friends, finances, responsibilities, my personal health, and relationship with God. It's been a lot to take in and deal with! But I look back over the almost year and a half that I have lived in America and I see nothing but faithfulness from God. Faithful when I've been at my best, and my worst! I'm so thankful for His consistency in my life! Another eight months will not go by before you hear from me again :)

To Know Him.

"Oh, that we might know the LORD! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring.” Hosea 6:3.

I have been struggling to grasp what my purpose in life is. It is frustrating and at times confusing to hear my age mates give a specific answer to the question "What do you want to do with your life?", and when the question rolls around to me, I stand there and say "I don't know." I am very good at taking care of details. I would much rather get you to your destination than figuring out what your destination is. I spot the details. I am not good at coming up with the big picture. However, if there is no big picture, I have nothing to work towards. This has been my problem- I don't have the picture. I don't even have an idea. I was talking to a Pastor friend of mine a few weeks ago. I mentioned I was unable to make a decision because I did not know what I want to do with my life. He asked me "Krista, have you decided to serve Jesus?" "Yes." "And you know that you want to be generous and compassionate?" "Yes" "Well then, you have the biggest things covered. The other details will work themselves out." Another scenario took place a couple of months ago in the kitchen. My sister and I were talking about destiny. The phrase "God wants to reveal your destiny to you" had been spoken again and again in my presence. This confused me as I asked God to give me some grand, divine revelation about my future but nothing happened. My sister said that she knows very few people who got that "vision in the sky". They just walked step by step. She commented that she believes that humanity's purpose is to know God more and more, rather than finding out what they should DO for God. I had never thought of this before. In my head, my ultimate purpose in life was to win souls to Jesus. And it is my purpose, no doubt. But I then thought of this verse-

"Many will say to Me on that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name and driven out demons in Your name and done many mighty works in Your name? And then I will say to them openly (publicly), I never knew you; depart from Me, you who act wickedly [disregarding My commands]." Matthew 7:22-23

These conversations and that verse brought a fresh revelation to my heart. It is not enough to DO things for God. We must KNOW God. Now I don't disregard doing things unto God by any means.

James 2:17-19 says "So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.” You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God. Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless?"

1 John 2:4 "If someone claims, “I know God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth."

Titus 1:16 "Such people claim they know God, but they deny him by the way they live. They are detestable and disobedient, worthless for doing anything good."

So I have understood that faith without works is dead, and if we claim to know God, but we do not honor Him through our lifestyles, it is all worthless. My life must be different than the worlds.

But WHY? Why go to the ends of the earth to preach the name of Jesus? Why lead others into worship? Why worship in the first place?- Because I love Him, and loving Him makes me WANT to do these things. Doing things for God because you are following rules is religion. Doing things for God because you love Him and you understand that He loves you is relationship. That is what sets the Christian faith apart from all other faiths. It all revolves around love. But how can you truly love someone you don't know? You need to get to know a person first before real, true love can develop.

Know God. Love God. Serve God.

These three steps sort of mesh up together in reality. When you know Him more, you love Him more, resulting in your desire to serve Him growing. Thus my ultimate goal is not to serve God, or even love God, but to KNOW God.

What does knowing God mean?

John 17:3: "And this is eternal life: [it means] to know (to perceive, recognize, become acquainted with, and understand) You, the only true and real God, and [likewise] to know Him, Jesus [as the] Christ (the Anointed One, the Messiah), Whom You have sent."

1 John 4:6a "We are [children] of God. Whoever is learning to know God [progressively to perceive, recognize, and understand God by observation and experience, and to get an ever-clearer knowledge of Him] listens to us..."

John 8:55 Yet you do not know Him or recognize Him and are not acquainted with Him, but I know Him. If I should say that I do not know Him, I would be a liar like you. But I know Him and keep His word [obey His teachings, am faithful to His message].

��From these scriptures, I think knowing God means to progressively (it is a process) perceive, recognize, and understand God by observation and experience. Don't just observe God, EXPERIENCE Him!

Understand: 1. to be thoroughly familiar with; apprehend clearly the character, nature, or subtleties of. 2.to grasp the significance, implications, or importance of.

Can you imagine fully understanding God? Being fully familiar with Him! Oh, to know my Jesus that well- To get an even clearer knowledge of Him. This is my purpose in life! To KNOW God. Realistically, I will never reach a place where I fully understand God. He cannot be comprehended! But to give up? That is like saying you won't enjoy the cake because you do not know what is in it. I want to know God more and more, to love Him more and more. As I continue to do these things, I will keep serving God right where I am. If He calls me to the foreign mission field, I will go. If He calls me to lead worship, I will lead. If He calls me to stay in America and pursue a career, I will stay. I would love to know what God has planned for me, but I am learning not to worry about it anymore. God will use me, that I know.

What do I want to do with my life? I want to know God.

��

Colossians 1:10 Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.��