Bride

I was thinking the other day that it says nothing in the Bible about Jesus falling in love with a woman. But it says that we as the church are His bride. Since Jesus never had a wife, maybe that's why He so treasures us being intimate with Him. Taking time to search for Him, letting Him know that we desire Him. A relationship takes time to develop. You meet, become acquaintances, friends, court, marry and somewhere before marriage you fall in love. I've met God, but I want more than that. I want to fall in love with Him, and become His faithful bride.
Anger, frustration, and an aching, broken heart...that's a lot of what i went through last year. God was there for me through it all, yet so often i pushed Him aside. I would try and pray, but there seemed to be a barrier between Him and i. I couldn't understand it! Why couldn't I find Him? Why was it always a struggle? But then as time went by, i began to understand it. I tried to impress Him and impress myself by being a super spiritual intercessor. Let's be real for a minute. A lot of times, we'll look at others and wish we could write or sing or dance like them so we try to copy their moves, usually failing miserably. All three examples take practise and time. You don't just jump into it and are a master. Isn't it like that with prayer? Don't get me wrong, some people are natural intercessors, but for those who aren't, if they try to be just like them, they probably won't get very far because they've started running before they learned to walk. That's what I'm doing, I'm walking. I'm walking with God, step by step, getting deeper and deeper. But i can't jump into the deep end if i'm not confident in the shallow end. Not that God is ever shallow :). Ever since i realized that, i've taken a few steps back and am content to go with God at His pace. If you're going through the same thing, maybe you should slow down a bit and enjoy every level of God in the way He wants to go.

This isn't what i was planning to write about, but just maybe someone needed to read it.