Remaining JOYFUL

Yesterday was my first day back to school after a great two weeks of spring break. Last weekend I unexpectedly went to Memphis to hear my Dad preach at Life Church. It was so amazing! I don't think I have ever been more proud of or blessed by my Dad than I was during the last two weeks. While there, my heart was so blessed...

The last few months have been a struggle to find a place of connection. Growing up in Kenya as an American left me in an unusual position of not being able to completely fit into either culture. I will never be an American, yet I can never truly be a Kenyan either- by the world's standards anyway. This is why a spiritual family- a place that I can fit in no matter my color, race, background, or age- is so important to me. Being away from that family that I have had my whole life has been a tough place to be.

Memphis was just what I needed! I felt so welcome and so connected to Life Church. It was a weekend of refreshing, refocusing, and love. T his made it easier, yet harder to come back "home." Easier because I came back with a new plan of action for this school quarter, harder because I saw something that I desired so much and had to leave- a place that I felt I belonged.

Tuesday morning dawned bright and fresh, but all I saw was gloom and disappointment. As I drove to school that morning, I desperately tried to find something that I could look forward to that morning in school. The best I could come up with was getting a new badge- seriously. I have a new purpose and focus in school that I am excited about, but my hunger for things around me to change blinded me. Tears welled up in my eyes just before I stepped out of the car. What did I have to be excited about? Surely there was nothing that could make me feel better about having to go to a place that was supposed to fill, but had mostly disappointed thus far.

But oh, the grace of God! He helped me get out of the car without breaking down. As I walked up the hill to class, I decided to just start thanking God for the littlest things that I could think of.

"Thank You Lord that I get a new badge today"

"I have a family that loves me."

"I am well this morning."

"Thank You for Your Love..." I nearly stopped walking as the realization hit me- GOD is alive, He loves me no matter what, and I have freedom in Him... That is enough to keep me joyful when all else disappoints! I have heard it before, but it had never been more real to me than at that moment. God loves me, is taking care of me, and HIS joy is my strength!If everything is going wrong- it's ok, it really is! JESUS is the joy of my life. What else do I really need to have true happiness and peace? Hope rose up on the inside of me as I walked up the steps. Then a thought hit me.

"What about people who don't have this hope?" A new burden for the lost and a new gratefulness for salvation washed over me. I walked into the building with a new badge to look forward to and JESUS' joy in my heart. I didn't need anything else! But what if I didn't have JESUS? What if I didn't have this hope? Depression would have been my companion all day. There are so many around us that do not have the gift of having hope even though EVERYTHING is going wrong. What do they have to hope in if they do not have the hope of JESUS? Thank God for His Son that gives you JOY even in the midst of the awfulness all around you- but don't keep that hope to yourself. Share it. People need a hope. They need JESUS. If you have Him, share His hope.

Why am I so discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again- my Savior and my God! Psalm 42:11

"My heart is confident in You, O God: my heart is confident. No wonder I can sing your praises! Wake up, my heart! Wake up, O lyre and harp! I will wake the dawn with my song I will thank You, Lord, among all the people. I will sing Your praises among the nations. For your unfailing love is as high as the heavens. Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds." Psalm 57:7-10