Needle and Thread

It's late at night, all is quiet except a night bird singing in a tree nearby, and the soft sound of my typing (which unfortunately sounds as if it pierces the sweet quietness of the night.) It seems as though a lot of things have happened lately, which they have, most of them being the discovering and fixing of the little rips and tears i've found in my heart and spirit. At the moment, the train of thought in my head is a bit confusing, so please try and stick with me.
Is a heart that is ripped up and torn worthy of being given to God? God is a God that is perfect, that loves order, and beauty...why in the world would He want to hold a bleeding, messed up heart? A few weeks ago, i walked into church, and as the worship service began, the song "Fire, Fall Down" was being sung. As I stood there, hands raised, and voice ringing, I felt God stop me and say, "You have come into my house unholy, and impure. This will cause you to be passed by today with my fire." I couldn't believe it! I huge wash of guilt came over me, how dare i think that i can take God's presence for granted, just walking into His house with unclean hands and an unclean heart. The Bible says in Psalms, Who can ascend the hill of the Lord? Those with a pure heart, and clean hands. My heart was not right with God, but yet why did I think that because i was saved, i still wasn't a sinner in need of Jesus? Whether you have Jesus or not, you are still a sinner. The only difference with being saved, is that you're a sinner forgiven, and with a promise of everlasting love and life. I knelt down, so broken, so repentant. But then God spoke to me and said, "But my daughter, that is why i hung on the cross. So that you, an unclean person, may come into my presence with your unclean heart, and ask for forgiveness from everything you've said, thought, or done. I am a faithful God, a loving God, a forgiving God."
I've been in quite a challenging season of life, and i know it's going to end soon; however, my breakthrough never came until i realized that i am not worthy of being God's friend. Who am I, that God is mindful of me? Who am I that God forsook His Son on the cross because He loves me? So often people think that because God is perfect, we should work our very hardest to be perfect so He can be proud of us. We want to get the needle and thread and sew patches on our heart, we want to make sure that we look spotless and perfect before going to see God. If we had strength to be perfect, then there is no reason Jesus would have had to die on the cross for us. While we should never take God's presence lightly, we must see that He is the only One who can heal us, and forgive us, and that we can not do that in our own strength.Why search for needle and thread when God has a healing embrace?